Anartha Nivritti stage is about responsible guilt rather than selfish shame.
As sadhakas of Krishna consciousness as we start the sadhu sanga and bhajan kriya, we start acknowledging the bad sanskaras on our chitta and develop desire to purify them in order to please Krishna. However, sometimes while making the attempts to acknowledge and purify the bad sanskaras on our chitta we tend to become depressed . During the stage of Anartha Nivritti, when a sadhaka is struggling to get rid of 6 enemies-kama, krodha, lobha, moha, mada and matsarya, he may often get caught up being too self absorbed and reduce his enthusiasm in services due to feeling low about himself. .Humility is not about thinking less about ourself but thinking of ourself less. Whatever bad we have in our chitta is just a result of grip in the modes of material nature and as soon as we are released from the grip , those impurities no longer stay with us. Mam eva ye prapadyante , mayam etam taranti te. Krishna says in BG that Mamai vamso jiva loke jiva bhuta sanatanah. So we are actually the children of Krishna and that is our real identity and so we are completely flawless in our constitutional identity. However, flaws have come to us in transitional stage and that would also get purified as surrender to Krishna.
There is a big difference between feeling selfish shame and having responsible guilt
According to Dictionary.com, then, guilt involves the awareness of having done something wrong; it arises from our actions (even if it might be one that occurs in fantasy). Shame may result from the awareness of guilt but apparently is not the same thing as guilt. It's a painful feeling about how we appear to others (and to ourselves) and doesn't necessarily depend on our having done anything.
So Anartha nivritti stage should not make us feel the shame but feel guilty. Some saints in past have said that essence of all scriptures is to to avoid love all, serve all, help ever, hurt never. Therefore, shame is about how can I can be loved better by others even though I do the actions which don't deserve to be respected. But guilt is about how can I improve myself so that I can serve others and love others in a better way. Shame comes from wanting the rights and guilt is about seeing the responsibilities. Guilt arises from giving empathy to others and shame arises from wanting empathy from others. Guilt increase connection with oneself and others while shame leads to disconnection with oneself and others. Shame is that I am bad but guilt is that I did something bad. Shame is sometime called as Image consciousness.
The politician feeling guilty says that he BETRAYED his wife.
The politician feeling shame says that HE betrayed his wife.
Although guilt is linked with a negative self evaluation (after all, it is the self that has done something wrong), the central focus of the feeling, typically, is on the wrong behavior not on the bad self linked with the behavior
what matters to the ashamed person is not his or her responsibility for the fault, but how this fault impacts on his or her ideal self.
guilt is likely to motivate either reparative or self-punitive behavior, shame is likely to motivate either withdrawal or increased efforts in building one’s aspired-to identity
Guilt has been found to lead to repair action tendencies, such as apologizing, amending, and undoing, whereas shame appears to favor withdrawal and escape behaviors, as well as hostile and self-defensive reactions (e.g., Tangney & Dearing, 2002).
For feeling guilty, one must feel responsible for one’s faults; and for feeling responsible one has to consider others’ needs and concerns, and see the consequences of one’s own behavior and attitudes through their eyes.
Shame implies perceived lack of power to meet the standards of one’s ideal self, whereas guilt implies per-ceived power and willingness to be harmful, that is, to violate the standards of one’s moral self. These differen-ces have important motivational consequences, both positive and negative: whereas guilt is likely to motivateeither reparative or self-punitive behavior, shame is likely to motivate either withdrawal or increased efforts inbuilding one’s aspired-to identity
This particular topic pains me a lot when I see many sadhakas going on the path of shame rather than guilt but I am not able to put this article in a very structured and proper flow. Seek the help of the readers to put it in a proper way. you can contact me at karang.abohar@gmail.com if you wish to offer any help.
There is a big difference between feeling selfish shame and having responsible guilt
According to Dictionary.com, then, guilt involves the awareness of having done something wrong; it arises from our actions (even if it might be one that occurs in fantasy). Shame may result from the awareness of guilt but apparently is not the same thing as guilt. It's a painful feeling about how we appear to others (and to ourselves) and doesn't necessarily depend on our having done anything.
So Anartha nivritti stage should not make us feel the shame but feel guilty. Some saints in past have said that essence of all scriptures is to to avoid love all, serve all, help ever, hurt never. Therefore, shame is about how can I can be loved better by others even though I do the actions which don't deserve to be respected. But guilt is about how can I improve myself so that I can serve others and love others in a better way. Shame comes from wanting the rights and guilt is about seeing the responsibilities. Guilt arises from giving empathy to others and shame arises from wanting empathy from others. Guilt increase connection with oneself and others while shame leads to disconnection with oneself and others. Shame is that I am bad but guilt is that I did something bad. Shame is sometime called as Image consciousness.
The politician feeling guilty says that he BETRAYED his wife.
The politician feeling shame says that HE betrayed his wife.
Although guilt is linked with a negative self evaluation (after all, it is the self that has done something wrong), the central focus of the feeling, typically, is on the wrong behavior not on the bad self linked with the behavior
what matters to the ashamed person is not his or her responsibility for the fault, but how this fault impacts on his or her ideal self.
guilt is likely to motivate either reparative or self-punitive behavior, shame is likely to motivate either withdrawal or increased efforts in building one’s aspired-to identity
Guilt has been found to lead to repair action tendencies, such as apologizing, amending, and undoing, whereas shame appears to favor withdrawal and escape behaviors, as well as hostile and self-defensive reactions (e.g., Tangney & Dearing, 2002).
For feeling guilty, one must feel responsible for one’s faults; and for feeling responsible one has to consider others’ needs and concerns, and see the consequences of one’s own behavior and attitudes through their eyes.
Shame implies perceived lack of power to meet the standards of one’s ideal self, whereas guilt implies per-ceived power and willingness to be harmful, that is, to violate the standards of one’s moral self. These differen-ces have important motivational consequences, both positive and negative: whereas guilt is likely to motivateeither reparative or self-punitive behavior, shame is likely to motivate either withdrawal or increased efforts inbuilding one’s aspired-to identity
This particular topic pains me a lot when I see many sadhakas going on the path of shame rather than guilt but I am not able to put this article in a very structured and proper flow. Seek the help of the readers to put it in a proper way. you can contact me at karang.abohar@gmail.com if you wish to offer any help.
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